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This is my first entry. I traveled with the group but went without headset, I’d been there five time before, I didn’t need commentary. I took notes from which the following submissions come:

“Prayer Shawls”

They hang neatly

striped prayer shawls

worn many times

while reciting Hebrew prayers

the fringes, decorations, embrodery

the trim, frayed

from use

the Shema quoted from heart.

How many prayers were said

while wearing these shawls.

“Braids”

Shuffling through the rooms

visitors hear of

systematic destruction

of tragedy,

pile and piles of hair

burlap sacks filled with hair

cloth and netting are the product

these didn’t affect until the braid

lying just as it is was cut

from the terrified head of the

woman just hours

before her death

her ashes, now scattered,

but her braids remain,

reminding us

never again;

but never never comes

and again keeps coming

again and again,

Babi Yar,

Auschwitz,

Vukovar,

Srebrenica,

Darfur,

Somalia,

Bishkek,

again and again.

While serving in the former communist world, (or any part of the developing world, I guess) one must be prepared for experiencing injustice. Last night a couple of us had a tussle with the local public transit officials. First the lady (?) at the ticket window intentionally closed the blinds instead of selling us day passes. Great. So we will buy tickets at our destination. I inform the checkers of our dilemma and they say no problem. So off we go. When we arrive at our next stop, we realize that the ticket windows are all closed and I can’t bring myself to paying single ticket prices. So we pool our change and are able to buy 24 hours passes for those in need of tickets! Off we go to our destination.  Later, the crew is checked by the ever present checkers who seem to be targeting foreigners these days and are always watching the adolescent portion of the population. Lo and behold, they singled our our crew and tell them, erroneously, that their 24 hour ticket was only good if they stayed underground. It would seem they though our crew was in possession of transfer tickets (these machine made tickets DO NOT look like normal 24 hour passes). So the leader of the crew wisely bought single tickets and off they went.

There are a couple of lessons here. One, if you are a foreigner, beware. If you are a foreigner who looks like an adolescent, watch out. If you are a female foreigner who looks like a teenager and are travelling with teenagers, you may be targeted. So be sure you know the deal, and be ready to think fast as our leader did last night. Don’t expect justice in an unjust world. The other lesson is this, the world is full of injustice and trips like our crew are on are a great way for people to gain an appreciation for those who are experiencing far greater injustices, like Aung San Suu Kyi. Check this out.

I am off to Poland tonight. Part of the journey will be to visit Auschwitz. I’ve been there five times before, so this time I am going to take along two larger texts I have chosen to meditate on as the team takes the tour. I might guess that I will have some thoughts for you when I return. I will be thinking and praying about justice and injustice on this visit to a place where the experience of injustice has been profound.

“What do I lose when I have a praying life? Control. Independence. What do I gain? Friendship with God. A quiet heart. The living work of God in the hearts of those I love.”

“He (God) wants our material needs to draw us into our soul needs.”

“One reason we don’t ask a mature friend these questions is Western individualism.”

“Usually, what bugs us the most about other people is true of us as well.”

“If you slow down and reflect, you’ll begin to see whole areas of your life where you’ve been  prayerless”

“At the center of self-will is me, carving a world in my image. At the center of prayer is God, carving me in his Son’s image.”

from A Praying Life by P. Miller

This is a very helpful book by Paul Miller. I’ve really been encouraged and exhorted by it. Here are some quotes:

“The only way to come to God is by taking off any spiritual mask. The real you has to meet the real God. He is a person.”

“We are often so busy and overwhelmed that when we slow down to pray, we don’t know where our hearts are.”

“So the feel of a praying life is cautious optimism – caution because of the Fall, optimism because of redemption.”

This reminds me of “pessimism kills faith” from last summer from which am daily reminded that optimism builds faith.

we may run out of money, energy and time, but our opportunity to give and receive forgiveness are without limit

I wonder why we are creatures that need routine, or is it just me? I’ve just moved back to the place in Budapest where I will spend much of my current trip from a bed-and-breakfast in Vac. Though that is a great spot and I needed to be there for a few days, it was difficult to establish a routine, and that plays havoc with my spiritual well being. I need routine. Here, in this no-more-equally familiar place, I find it easier to have a routine that facilitates ease in pursuing my disciplines. The fellow who keeps the B&B (panzio) really wanted me to be in time for breakfast. If I was a few minutes late for my appointed time, he would come upstairs and say “breakfast” and then he would look at the clock and say “discipline” (he has about as many words in English as I do in Hungarian). This word, discipline, as I have noted herein previously, is important in the spiritually.

I began reading a book on prayer a little while ago and one premise that the author puts forth is that prayer is not our problem – our relationship with God, that’s our problem. It is difficult to have a conversation with someone who you are not on good terms with (for whatever reason), the author points out that difficulty in prayer indicates a relationship problem. Makes sense. We’ll see what more I have to say about the ideas in this book. But having a time and place for one’s main time of prayer makes sense. I’m glad to be back in such a place so as to re-establish routine.