pride breeds insecurity
another unrelated thot…
the difference between eastern meditation and Christian meditation is that in eastern meditation you try to empty yourself… in Christian meditation, you realize you are already empty and seek to have God fill you with His Spirit…
kingdom travelin' 
I hear you on the asking God to fill me part. That’s what meditation is for me, too. Right now, it’s more like a crying out to God for peace, trust, and energy as I focun on the Word.
God bless,
Elena